Being only at the ripe ol’ age of twenty three, it alarms me how absolutely panicking that word is to me; unemployed.
It feels similar to what I’d imagine imploding feels like, but as anxiety-inducing as this experience has been I’ve realized some pretty important things concerning my life and what I’ve been doing with it.
When I first became unemployed I slept a lot, I was extremely worn down from the nonstop stress I had forced myself to endure for years. At that point I was so low mentally, I hadn’t felt so lost in awhile. It’s insane to me that I was so tunnel-visioned with my work that I almost completely forgot how young I was.
After the catching up on sleep happened, the panic set in. The feeling of uselessness, the inability to “contribute” to our society in an economical sense absolutely killed me. I wouldn’t allow myself to enjoy anything because the way I saw it, only those who work get to be happy.
This was absolutely horrifying, was I really so miserable that I believed I wasn’t entitled to happiness? When I realized the answer to that questions was yes, I really took a step back to do some good old soul searching.
I am in no delusion about who I am or what situation I am in and how important financial stability is, but it also shouldn’t be what dictates my enjoyment of life.
From this I have learned the actual ease of cutting down costs, although going out and spending money is grand and all, it really isn’t a necessity to have fun.
I have allowed myself to suck my time into my art and writing that I had claimed for years to friends and family was something I never wanted to do full time.
Really, I have more than anything realized who I am and what I really want to get out of this life, being forced to sit alone with yourself and reflect is something I never before had the time to do.
I am still suffering from the itch to get back into the workforce, but rather than because of pure drive to fulfill civic duty I wish to do so to fulfill the promise to myself, that I will reach my goals to the best of my abilities.
So basically, no matter what you’re going through right now, keep in mind it does get better. It’s not easy and it’s certainly not a straight shoot, but it is possible regardless of what obstacles are in your way.
You know what?
You tell those obstacles, hey, I know how to do stuff and I’m pretty cool.
And then you take the obstacles, and you tell them to screw off.
Then you cheer as you stand atop your enemies.