One of the most painful parts of being a nonsocial person is those occasional, overwhelming urges to be social.
But Natalie, this sounds like progress! Hooray! Go outside! Talk to people! Carpe Diem!
No. This is anything but progress.
Imagine, you’ve been home all day and have not walked outside for little more than to grab the mail, the only social interactions you’ve had are with a dog who wishes you would get a life. Suddenly, you begin to feel your palms tingle, your heart race, your desire to get up and put uncomfortable clothes on. The horror.
And just like clockwork a friend bleeps you.
Oh god no, your heart races. How are we going to play this off.
As much as you love your friends and long to go out and have fun, the idea of talking to other people and leaving the perfect habitat you’ve created for yourself sounds like an absolute nightmare.
Great. Now you’re struggling with more than just if you should go out, now you have to decide how to handle your friend. Will you pretend to not receive the text? Or be honest? Maybe turn your phone off and curl up into the pathetic burrito of warm blankets and disappointment?
No. I am getting up. I am going out. I AM GOING TO BE SOCIAL.
So, going through the motions of becoming presentable to the outside world takes place. You take a shower, put on clothes that you don’t have to wonder about if they’re clean or not. Shit, maybe you do your eyebrows or something. Make ya’self feel good.
You lie to yourself about how powerful and confident you feel until it becomes true, at least in your brain.
So, congrats you’ve made it to the social situation. Even though it’s the same people and the same beer with the same music and the same jokes you still wonder if you’re being a bother and should just recluse like a tiny dead spider, arms to face and blowing away with the slightest gust.
But, sometimes, on those rare occasions where you have successfully left the house you get overwhelmed with this feeling of happiness. You forget about the anxieties and fears and you forget about your disdain for socializing.
All thanks to your friends, who seem to do nothing but bring out the best in you.