Ugh. (It is 10 am and I’ve still done nothing productive).

I’m sitting here right now rubbing my eyes, inhaling a cup of coffee, listening to Game Grumps in a lost tab and loathing the idea of walking into the cold white death of the outdoors. And in this state I can only think of one word to describe this situation:


Nothing is particularly wrong or “bad” yet nothing is particularly amazing either. I am superbly content yet extremely unhappy. Oh god, I’m being paradoxical.

Regardless, I figured such shitty weather and such exhaustion from maybe or maybe not staying up till three in the morning cross-stitching calls for story-time. Huzzah.

When I was a freshman in High School, the age of the internet was at an all time buzz. It was a MySpace land filled with beautiful people who used the blur tool too much and yet made unrealistic expectations of a blemish free face, that made someone going through those “awkward” years yearn for.

Nowadays the fad is pre-treated face masks or magnetized face masks, (go back sixty years and try explaining that to someone), but then ┬áit was all diy face crap and “magical” ways to make yourself look less like a real being and more like a MySpace celebrity, mostly because we were all broke as shit.

Toothpaste. Take a dab of toothpaste and put it on “problem” areas and poof they will disappear. Now I had done this before and sometimes it really did seem to work – sometimes it made it so much worse. I was at a new school, really self-concious about not being the weird new kid and I was determined to NOT be brace and acne face.

“My whole face is a problem area.” That was my logic.

I smeared a shit-ton of toothpaste all over my face and within seconds I was in crippling amounts of pain. I spent the next twenty or so minutes with my face buried in a piping hot towel because air on my face made me want to actually die.

So yeah, don’t do that.

Tell me if you’re ever had a brilliant┬áidea go wrong. I like laughing.


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